Dear Hearing Impaired Bobbleheads, I bid you adieu. Sincerely, Rumpelstiltskin

Why don't men listen? Let me clarify, why don't men believe what I say unless it's exactly what they want to hear? In the past I think I confessed more to my journal than my actual partner but I've changed my ways! In fact, I've ventured to the opposite end of the communication spectrum and am lingering around brutal honesty. So why aren't things easier? Am I not using small enough words? Are my cleverly crafted phrases misinterpreted? Maybe I speak too softly? Perhaps I have a knack for dating the undiagnosed hearing impaired? I'm utterly baffled. It's as if I date bobbleheads. They nod their heads while I'm speaking, as if to convey the fact they are understanding what is coming out of my mouth but then are completely shocked when I follow through. For example - I'm not sure I'm ready to be in a serious relationship just yet. I don't want to commit until I'm certain I'm done playing the field. Why is this difficult to understand? When you stomp your feet, shake your little fist and purse your pouty lips because I denied you this exclusive relationship status, I can't help but think WTF is wrong with you? Did I not make myself clear before? I haven't changed my mind in a week! I think a lot of this bobbleheaded inattentiveness stems from complete denial. I'm not a girl whose mind is easily changed. Especially if you have not seriously engaged in ANY activity that would illicit your desired intentions for me. If I say I need space that means I need space until I tell you I don't need space. Not when you decide you're done giving it to me. If you can't abide by these rules than I guess I will bid you adieu.



This honest communication ruse I've attempted is about as effective as having my lips stapled shut. I might as well not even open my mouth as the words somehow get lost in translation, forever to linger in limbo. I naively believed my honesty would make dating progress more smoothly. If you lay your cards out on the table from the start, everyone has a clear picture of what's expected. However, if your honesty is not what your partner wants to hear, I guess it might as well not be said. Sure you can feel good about yourself but really what have you gained? This works both ways. I want to know your expectations as well as your limitations. If I can't deal with them then again, I will bid you adieu. This is not difficult! Believe what I say, because I WILL follow through. Stop casting me as the villain in every scenario.





I do not aspire to speak in riddle like the dastardly dwarf, Rumpelstiltskin. Perhaps I should provide cliff notes for all of our conversations, so you can quickly review what we've discussed. Confusion averted! I'm sure this wouldn't even work, as not all written word is believed to be the Truth (the Bible, ahem). Anyway, from this point forward I'm done feeling guilty, I'm done second guessing my vernacular, I'm done coddling your feelings. I will be fair and I will be honest with you. I expect the same in return. It's not a matter of protecting ones feelings, it's about understanding eachother in order to avoid hurt feelings. Relationships are difficult enough without the added headache of misinterpretation or complete denial.



One final point - don't pretend you care so much about me when you can't even respect me enough to listen. Don't pretend you want our relationship to work when you ignore what I'm telling you I need to make it work. Don't pretend you're the bigger person because you're ready and I'm not.



Rumpelstiltskin, out...