Monday, November 16, 2009

A blonde's take on genetics...riveting!

Webster's Dictionary defines patient as:


1. Capable of bearing affliction calmly. 2. Understanding: tolerant. 3. Persevering: constant. 4. Capable of bearing delay. Synonyms include: forbearing, long-suffering, resigned; adj. core meaning: enduring or capable of enduring hardship or inconvenience without complaint.

The only part of this definition that really resonated with me was the bit about long-suffering. Every year I expect to develop this little adult idiosyncrasy, but alas, it eludes me. In fact, my impatience appears to be blossoming. I want everything figured out and tucked neatly into place...yesterday. I absolutely abhor the phrase, "Just enjoy the ride!" I'm a roller coaster type girl. I enjoy the anticipation, inevitable stomach flip and abrupt ending. Onto the next! I don't have the attention span for the effen Tea Cups.


This is precisely the reason I'm not a huge fan of dating. When you meet someone you want to see naked connect with, it's difficult to muster Buddha's patience. I want to know what is wrong with you or why we will inevitably fail within a 3 date time frame. Is that too much to ask? When you dilly dally around playing nice, hoping to conceal the crazy, you're simply delaying the "it's not you, it's me" song and dance. Be honest! You're not going to change someone, so you might as well be upfront with your expectations. If you no longer want to see them naked connect, then you've wasted very little time, energy and emotional turmoil. Win-win!


Now I understand certain traits will not initially present themselves. Does your love interest harbor passive aggressive argument tactics? Horrible at karaoke? Suck at board or video games? Fart in their sleep? I suppose if you're still a passing interest to me, I can hold out long enough to discover some of these deal breakers. But not too long. I'm sort of an outta sight, outta mind person. I lose interest quickly (and by 'lose interest' I mean, forget that you exist) and don't enjoy the waiting around portion of dating. If I like you, I want to spend time with you. Now this attached-at-the-hip feeling is quite fleeting, but initially I do want to be near you, a lot. Whether we're physically together, or just talking on the phone, I need to know you're on the same page as I am. There is nothing worse than pursuing something that was never meant to be pursued.



After you finally get to know each other and evaluate the potential of spending more than the odd date here and there, then I'm as patient as Job. (Pick up a Bible if you don't understand that reference or know how to pronounce his name.) I like my life pretty much the way it is. I don't want a roommate or a Siamese twin. I want to spend time with someone because some activities are better as a dazzling duo. Video games (if you don't suck), tennis, walking 3 dogs, going out to eat, shooting darts and camping to name a few. Also, marriage and parenthood seem to work a little better with a partner, or so I've heard.


I certainly need to improve on my severely deficient patient gene (is that a gene? I'm gonna go with No on this one). I've probably passed up a few amazing experiences or people because of its absence. However, the one propitious aspect of this lack of patience is its undeniable filtering capabilities. I've been able to sift through a lot of nonsense, thus avoiding a lot of wasted time. Wasting time, now that's a gene I've housed in great abundance.

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