Does Colonel Sanders have a ring in that coat for me?

Apparently Colonel Sanders and I are a match. I've also been approached by a diamond collector (which I believe is code for burglar), a man with freakishly small hands (I wouldn't doubt if his mother was Thumbelina) and a guy whom I've already dated that didn't recognize me...ouch. I feel as if I've been duped by a couple of matches that only post group photos. Usually there's one attractive fella in the bunch and I'm 0-4 that he's the one whose profile I've viewed. One of my eHarmony matches posted a picture of himself in Sponge Bob pj's eating cereal out of a giant mixing bowl in what appears to be his mother's basement. (eHarmony actually protects its patrons, so I couldn't copy the photo.) I'm starting to feel as if I'm on the brink of discovering my true love. So many qualified candidates, which one to choose?!

I've noticed that men think a good ice breaker is asking why I'm single. As if this is some sort of character flaw of mine. I don't even know what a good response to this question would be? No one can tolerate me? I have a mystery rash? The photos I've posted don't reveal my peg leg? I suppose the truth might work - I've chosen to be - but that's got a somewhat bitter and egotistical ring to it. I suppose that by merely joining these dating sites I've implied that I'm looking for a relationship. I should probably change my tag line to "Not interested in a serious relationship, just bored." Now that's catchy. More than anything, I'm just curious to see what's out there. If I stumble across the one while hanging out with everyone minus the one, I guess I'd consider changing my tag line to "Toying with the idea of commitment, still bored."

Another one of my many unfounded theories is that the right person will come along when you're actually ready for them, not simply because you think you are. Have you ever noticed that when you're desperately looking for love and romance all you find are the Colonel Sanders' of the world? Perhaps the right man or woman has been in front of you for some time, but until you're ready to really "see" them you're not going to be content with just anyone. Again, this theory is merely another idealistic fantasy of mine. I'm comfortable with being single right now, but I cleave to the notion that the perfect man is going to appear at my doorstep some day and I'll actually be ready for him. In this little fantasy of mine he's also bearing an obnoxiously large bouquet that even his rippling biceps struggle to grasp, the white/rose gold Princess cut diamond ring (I won't be so frivolous as to request the carat weight but let's just say it rhymes with "poo" or maybe "pee" carats - wow, that's mature) safely tucked into his cashmere suit coat, and a twinkle in his baby blue eyes as introduces himself. Why is there a diamond ring ensconced within Mr. Right's luscious cashmere when I've clearly described a first encounter? I don't know, I like the idea that he's prepared to fall in love with me in an instant. Plus, assuming I'm not actually ready for Mr. Right, I'll at least know he's standing before me and disregard all my previous blather. I mean come on, who's going to justifiably pass up this fab fella? You think this scenario seems highly unlikely and I shouldn't hold my breath? Then I say shut up Debbie Downer! to each their own, whatever helps you get through the day.