Tuesday, December 22, 2009

How deep my super love goes...

So I officially kicked off this years' first round of Christmas shopping...yesterday. Somehow I managed to purchase an entire H3's worth of goodies (I'm serious, trunk, seats and floor space jammed with crap) and yet have not finished even one person on my list. In fact, I only got one half done and another half started. Apparently I was so overcome by the Christmas spirit that I spent all my time finding the perfect gifts for random friends and relatives. After making 2 separate trips to my car I was finally ready to begin shopping, for reals. Uh, what's that, the mall closed? Aren't you suppose to stay open until, I don't know, Christmas? All your little blue haired retail elves are so high on potpourri and hand-sanitizer they can't possibly need more than a 10-minute break.

Finally got home at 11pm, Red Bull really starting to kick in, actually looking forward to wrapping all my useless gifts. As I gathered my purchases and stumbled toward the elevator, ninja kicking the UP button I waited...and waited...put my treasures down...and waited. Then I noticed a little note on the bulletin board. Elevator needs new part, will be fixed Monday. Wait a tick, isn't today Monday? We apparently have enough in our condo reserves to have the carpets shampooed weekly, garage pressure washed twice a month, entire building facade painted when it looked fine and money for a new "library" (bookshelf in the lobby), but can't seem to have our one elevator serviced in a timely fashion? For heaven's sake, 90% of the building's occupants are elderly! I'm just lazy, but let's think of the old folks please.

After re-assessing the situation (read: debating whether or not I'd take any gifts out of my car until Christmas) I decided a little exercise wouldn't kill me, right? Right?! 4 trips back and forth up and down 6 flights of stairs and I'd have to reply YES, a little exercise would kill me. Not so much the sheer volume of items I was transporting, rather the untimely manner in which it took me to reach their new haven. As a responsible dog owner (hehe) I decided to allow my dog pack to accompany me. It would appear that 4 hours left to their own devices, elicits sort of a frenzy when unleashed upon the hallway and garage areas of their domain. The middle child has taken a new liking to barking frantically up and down the hallway when we leave unless he's on a leash. However, when he's on a leash the puppy torments him, gets bit, cries, then he barks. Sort of a lose-lose. When we finally get to the garage everyone has a favorite corner/car/service area they enjoy best. It's like two little rockets and lumbering bear darting about in every direction. The real treat was getting the door open to the stairwell while balancing as much as my sad little arms could carry, hoping everyone else was on board. 1 out 3 times this was the case. The other 2 times Judge was more preoccupied with eating a dead bird he found outside and Maverick wouldn't leave the side of my car.

Stayed up until about 5am wrapping gifts. Why so late? You try doing this little holiday task with a 3 month old puppy who has a taste for anything paper or plastic. Including but not limited to - shopping bags, wrapping paper, scissors, tape, Sharpies, bows, ribbons and boxes. And the gifts themselves, of course. [Judge found one of his Christmas gifts - Snuggie For Dogs - so gay, but made me laugh when I saw it at the grocery store. Besides, I'm stimulating the economy. After he opened the box and bag and inspected his prize he immediately tossed it aside in favor of a glass ornament.]

Upon further inspection of my purchases, I did in fact buy for pretty much everyone not on my list. Hopefully today will be a little more successful or my super loved ones (not the so-so loved ones I actually bought gifts for) will know how deep my super love goes. Somehow that sounded gross.

1 comment:

  1. I like the floors in your condo.

    Me? I would have left the presents in the car. I have actually pulled my wife's presents down from the top of the closet (she's short and can't see them--heehee) three times and wrapped exactly none of them. The last of her stuff is supposed to arrive today, so maybe tonight I'll actually do it.

    In short, that's my way of congratulating you for accomplishing all your wrapping.